Wednesday, October 17, 2012

50 Shades of WTF

It has been OVER a week, and still no post-marathon entry?! How dare I keep you all on the edge of your seats like this. I am such a jerk. No fair.

WHY have I not posted? Well, my reason is pretty pathetic, actually.

I have gone to the dark side.

I am reading 50 Shades of Grey.




I KNOW!

This book is a complete smack in the face of all literature. An atrocity. A blow to the intelligence of any reader. A miserable piece of art, not worthy of publication or notice. Complete smut. Filth. Shakespeare is rolling over in his grave. Emerson and Thoreau are sobbing. Dr. Seuss and Shel Silverstein are wondering how the women that read their stories as children have grown to dabble in crap like this. C. S. Lewis is covering his ears with his hands and rocking back and forth. Lewis Carroll has come out of his drug-induced euphoria to just say "WTF?!" Hemingway is giving me the finger.

BUT DUDE, IT'S A COMPLETE PAGE-TURNER! I can't put it down. I am ashamed. I am less of a human being. I can't even look myself in the eye.

So at night and on the weekends, when I should be blogging, I have my nose stuck in this book learning more about Ana and Christian and their sexual escapades. I have 50 pages left, and will probably finish it tonight. Then I will have my life back, and will remember that running is more important than despicable porn books.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Spoiler alert

I WON THE CHICAGO MARATHON!



Had the time of my life. More details to come soon. Just wanted to let you all know that I won, and you can begin asking for autographs in person, via email, fax, or snail mail. A charge of $20 for each.

Friday, October 5, 2012

Chi-town Tonight

Hello? Are you there? Remember me? I KNOW, I suck at this blogging thing. I go MIA for a month and expect you to welcome me back with open arms? I am so arrogant.

Work has kept me ridiculously busy the past few weeks. It's not just diculous, it is REEEEE-diculous. Forgive me?

You SHOULD forgive me, because there are some EPIC posts to come! Why?

CHICAGO MARATHON IS THIS WEEKEND!!!!!! WHAT WHAAAAAAAAT!!!!!!!!

There are 3 that will ensure I win the race:

1) My nails! LOOK at this! Lightening bolt POWER! This is like, the ultimate turbo-booster. (Thank you, Maureen!)


2) My throw away jacket for the start line is hands-down the most amazing piece of clothing in the world. I got it at Goodwill for $3. There are no words...


3) I got good luck flowers from the #1 most wonderful boyfriend EVER. I pretty much adore him and love him to pieces.


These things PLUS the support of so many friends and family, PLUS great weather, PLUS the fantastic spectators, PLUS a playlist that will be the most unbelievable soundtrack possible... Yea, I'm going to win. Just keep your eyes peeled for my interview on the news. "So, Amy, how does it feel to WIN the Chicago Marathon?" I have my speech planned already.

Want some info on how to track me so you can know be ready to brag to all of your friends that you know the person that won the 2012 Chicago Marathon? Sure!

To get a full run-down of spectator information go HERE.

For those of you in TN, NC, and SC, I know most of you get the Chicago News on TV. I always wondered WHY, but for the first time ever, this random coverage geography is working to my advantage. You can watch the Chicago News (NBC, channel 5) for coverage of the race- and watch me cross the finish line first, waaaaaay before the Kenyans.

Probably the easiest and best way to stay up to date is by signing up to get texts, facebook updates, or twitter feed updates: sign up to do that HERE. It is REALLY EASY. (So Mom, you WILL be able to do this, I promise you. Just follow the directions.)

1) Go to that website.
2) Click REGISTER.
3) Type in your name and email, and make up some amazing password like AMYRUNSFAST or something.
4) Click CONTINUE.
5) To get text updates: Under "Tracking Methods", on the left, in green, you see a little bubble that says SMS. Next to that it says "Authorize". Click that button.
6) Put in your cell phone number and click OK.
7) You will get a text right away with an authentication number. Type that number into the little window that pops up on the website. Do it right away or else your submission will expire.
8) Click ok.
9) At the bottom of the screen, click NEXT.
10) Search for me either by NAME or BIB NUMBER (38488)
11) When my name pops up, click the little button next to my name, then hit SUBMIT.

DONE! Got it? Did it work? Sweet.

I have a twitter feed activated, so you can also follow me on twitter @amslearning2run

Bib number 38488, eh? I wish I had some cool way to decode that and make it significant, but I do not.  Here's to hoping it brings this superstitious freak some luck.

I am in corral J (which stands for JEEPERS CREEPERS, LOOK AT THAT HOT CHICK RUN!). That will put me starting somewhere around 8:10-8:30ish CST. I am not going to say what I expect my pace or finish time to be, because frankly, I have NO idea how it will go. Of course, hoping for the best and between a 10-11 minute pace throughout, but I am just going to play it smart, listen to my body, and soak up the experience.

Am I excited? YOU BET YOUR SWEET ASS I AM! I love the adrenaline rush, the anticipation, the butterflies in my tummy... this is the ONE time when I embrace my anxiety and just enjoy that feeling. What a rush!

Ummmmmmmmmm well... uhh... ok.... I guess.... that's it? Should we stand around and talk small talk for a little bit, or just hug goodbye and plan to have coffee next week to talk about the race?

...ok see ya.

CHICAGO HERE I COME!