Last year, I was hurt and 2 months out of training due to my stupid ankles.
This year, I am 2 months out of training because I am a lazy piece of poo.
Last year, it was blazing hot.
This year, it is supposed to be much cooler.
So the question becomes:
Do I run the FULL marathon? Or cash in my pride and duck out at the HALF split?
My plan right now is to stick with the half. I cannot change my registration, but I am allowed to take a right at mile 12 rather than a left, save my legs an additional 13.1 miles, and still get a medal. (The woman at the information desk continues by saying, "But you will not qualify for any awards." Upon which I laugh out loud.)
BUT, and that's a big but (not to be confused with a big butt), what if I am feeling "optimistic" at mile 12? Do I keep going? Do I risk it? A potential injury or DNF? Decisions, decisions.
I feel like a cheater, because my shirt says MARATHON and my bib says MARATHON- am I a lier if I wear my shirt in a few days and people are all like "Whoa, you ran a marathon?!" and I am all "Umm, well, no, but, I registered for one!" Sorry, registering doesn't count. Silly detail, but remember: my mind is a very strange place to live.
If I had to put money down right now, I would say I do the HALF. I am 99.9% sure I will do a half. I will suppress that .1% that is crossing its arms, squinting at me, and saying "You SUCK, ya know that?!" and hold my head high as I cross the 13.1 finish line. Because while part of me may scream FAILURE, another part of me is like YOU JUST RAN A HALF MARATHON, AND THAT IS STILL PRETTY BAD ASS!
BTW. Check out my bib:
SCHECKY! Yea buddy!
Story: One day while out shopping with Kevin, we saw these pens-
You see there? You see the 2nd one down? Shecky The Clown? Yea, that is AWESOME. So now, my loving boyfriend has adopted SCHECKY THE CLOWN as one of my many nicknames. I love it.
One of my running friends made a joke that I should rename my blog to "Still Learning to Blog." I was all like "No, I am just busy, I... No, I just have a lot going on... right now... Lot's to do... Things and... stuff... and... dammit, you're right."
Hi, my name is Amy Mary, and I am a blogging FAILURE.
But, to be honest (no, not just making excuses here...), I have not been running. Like, at all. I think I have gone on maybe 4 runs since the Chicago Marathon (which was nearly 2 months ago!), with the longest being 10k. So I felt I had nothing to write about. But really, in hindsight, I probably should have kept writing- it was exactly what I NEEDED to be doing. Perhaps it would have helped me through my running funk/ slump/ rut/ whatever you want to call it. And, more importantly, it may have helped other runners out there in the same predicament.
There are a few runners I have met (or followed on twitter, read their blogs, etc) that run religiously. I have never heard of them hitting a wall, wanting a weekend off, or just plain needing a break. They just run. Constantly. And don't complain. At all. But, to be fair, a lot of those people are elite athletes who have spent years and years and years dedicated to running and have built it into their life. I am definitely still a running newbie. Two years of neat new clothing, medals, shoes, and poop issues does not an elite runner make. While I love running, I also love my life. I love lazy Saturday mornings sleeping in, making pancakes, and watching sports with Kevin (vs waking up at 6am to run 16 miles). I love going out for a drink with the girls after work (vs heading straight home and knocking out a 6 miler). I love being able to wear high heels to work and not worry about being sore. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE RUNNING, but I am also a 29 year old girl (not woman, that makes me sound old- and lord knows I am not mature enough to be called a woman) that enjoys a social life and vegging out on the couch from time to time.
And really, if you don't enjoy a nice weekend of lounging in the same pajamas for 48 hours straight, you are not human, and I judge you.
So, with that said, I do wish I had written more during my vacation from running (which turned into a vacation from blogging as well). It is good to talk through these slow times and let other runners (or anyone with any hobby they may get tired of) know that IT HAPPENS, AND IT IS OK.
I think part of the reason I stopped running is that awful downward spiral my mind sets out on:
1) Shoot, I didn't run today- I will run tomorrow.
which turns into...
2) Damn, I didn't run yesterday, that throws off my whole week of training. I will start back up next week.
leading to the dreaded...
3) I am such a failure. It has been 2 weeks and suddenly my pants don't fit. Let's just eat another cookie and drink another beer and worry about it next week.
ending in the crash and burn of...
4) Forget it. It's been too long. I suck at running. I will need to start from scratch. Why even bother.
Yea, I know, my mind can be quite fantastical and catastrophic, right? What would you pay to be inside my head for just 5 minutes?! Would you even survive?! Be thankful for medication.
So my LESSON(s) LEARNED here, are:
-Stop being a drama queen and just get back out there and run. No matter how far, for how long, or how slow. Just run.
-It is ok to take some time off, hit the snooze button, eat some mac and cheese, and hang up the running shoes for a day... or two.
-When I feel out of it, talk about it and share it with others- not only will writing help me through it, but it will help others in a similar position.
-I do love running. A lot. It is a part of my life I will cherish forever. But just like I love shots of chilled tequila, sometimes you just need a break. And that's ok.
With that said, I am still learning to blog. Please hang in there with me. And enjoy the stories as I pull myself out of this slump.
I shall leave you with a picture from Thanksgiving. A few of my friends and I hung around Memphis rather than fight the travel insanity. We had a great time. I love my friends. (Note the scrumptious Tofurkey I made, front-left. And note that Thuy forgot to take the bag of gizzards out of the turkey's ass- HA!)